Friday, September 3, 2010

The Less Pretty of Pretty Little Liars

Pretty Little Liars isn't my favorite show. But in summer's dry season, when Angst runs thin, it'll do. In the land of ABC Family, it's only a couple rungs below Greek and a zillion rungs above everything else on ABC Family. But the area in which it lacks most is angsty men.

Let's look at the men of Pretty Little Liars.

Ezra: Probably the largest male character, he's seriously lacking in development and characterization. He's got a cute smile but he's not much more attractive than your average underwear model. Questionable morals abound in his hooking up with a student but apparently we should forgive him because he looks like he's about fifteen himself.

Alex: Probably my pick for most attractive male on the show, he could be Ezra's brother. Clearly the casting director has a type. Adorable boyishness with some volume in his hair. Apart from having less money than Spencer and being kind to Spencer's drunk ass mom, we know nothing about Alex.

Toby: The only male character with serious angst possibilities, they cast the weirdest looking gump of a guy ever. Not to mention homeboy has the acting chops of an oak tree.

Darren: At least he's got some motivation going on. He wants to know WTF happened. But again, zero in the way of a life outside of his relentless stalking of the girls. He gets a few bonus points for being Bryce Johnson - one of very few recognizable faces on PLL. I loved him as Josh on the short lived, uber-clever series Popular.

Sean: A TOTAL yawn in terms of looks, at least they've attempted to give him a character. Is he really super religious or does he too have a secret? Either they're doing an awful job of hiding Sean's homosexuality or Chuck Hittinger is a bad actor.

Ian: If I weren't a huge (ex?) fan of Ryan Merriman, I wouldn't include Ian on this list. However, the show seems to have more in mind for this character than the two episodes in which he's already appeared. Hopefully, he'll go beyond being just another dude Spencer back-stabbed her sister over. Mr. Merriman, it's difficult to be a fan of someone who never works.

So there it is. I haven't included everyone. Chad Lowe has a character but dude's over forty and he's no Johnny Depp. He's not even Rob Lowe who can still turn out the angst on occasion. And adorkable Lucas who's gaming for Hanna. Eh. I don't care. And Wren - guy Spencer got caught kissing oh so long ago when that plot point was still original - he seems pretty donesville so he doesn't deserve a screencap.

Hopefully Pretty Little Liars will pick up its game when it comes to the dudes. If it doesn't, I'll still watch it as long as nothing better is on. Who's with me?

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