Wednesday, March 14, 2012

The Secret Circle: Refresher Course

Secret Circle comes back tomorrow - and if you're as lukewarm about the show as me - it's possible you too have no recollection of what happened on the last episode. Fear not! I'm here to help.

Chris Zylka as Jake Armstrong on The Secret Circle
We began with Cassie moving out of Diana's under a cloud of lies. When she returns to her own humble dwelling, she discovers Jake lurking within. He sweeps her porch before being unceremoniously chased out with Cassie's super secret weapon: a lighting-umbrella.

Chris Zylka as Jake Armstrong on The Secret Circle
Then Cassie goes to work. Adam shows up and explains the finer points of table waiting while Faye and other-girl (whose name still doesn't stick) talk about drugs in the corner. Then, Travis from American Horror Story shows up to invite them to a party.

Thomas Dekker as Adam Conant on The Secret Circle
Cassie returns home and SHOCK! Her father is there! After he leaves, Adam shows up. Cassie does her whole this-combination-of-words-should-be-somewhat-humours-but-I'm-saying-them-super-seriously thing while recounting the scene we JUST saw, and Adam gives her this look:

Thomas Dekker as Adam Conant on The Secret Circle
Meanwhile, Diana and Faye interrupt Hastings Ruckle who is busy squinting at his comatose girlfriend. They drag him off to rescue Other-Girl from Travis's party.

Grey Damon as Lee LaBeque on The Secret Circle
Cassie, because she's the stupidest person ever, goes to meet her crazy-shady dad. She shrieks at him about abandoning her and he asks for THE MEDALLION OF DOOM. Cassie refuses and stalks off alone into the night. Then she's promptly kidnapped (again) by (according to IMDb) Eben.

Michael Graziadei as Callum on The Secret Circle
Meanwhile, Girl #4 hangs out with Travis and they both say "Devil's Spirt" about a dozen times. For real - take a drink every time someone says Devil Spirit and you'll be on the floor in ten minutes. They use a rag doll to force magical orgasms upon one another before Diana, Faye, and Hastings all show up and rescue poor, little no-name from evil Travis. Faye finds out that Grey was trying to steal her power. She's sad.

Chris Zylka as Jake Armstrong on The Secret Circle
Cassie's dad karate chops Jake into telling him that witch hunters are... well...witch hunting Cassie. Jake finds her. Promises to bring Cassie's dad. He does. Eben tries to kill Jake, shockingly, Jake wins. Cassie, under mystery-magic, tries to kill her dad. The rest of the circle shows up and stops her.

Chris Zylka as Jake Armstrong on The Secret Circle
Chris Zylka as Jake Armstrong on The Secret Circle
Grey and Faye make up and make out. Then! Grey's coma-girl wakes up!

Grey Damon as Lee LaBeque and Phoebe Tonkin as Faye Chamberlain on The Secret Circle
Daddy and Jake make a pact to protect Cassie because it's all. about. her. Then Cassie and Adam hug. The end.

Thomas Dekker as Adam Conant and Britt Robertson as Cassie Blake on The Secret Circle
Who's ready for the whirlwind of excitement that awaits us tomorrow? Will there be more unfunny sarcasm? Will there be more protecting Cassie? Will Grey Damon squint less now that his girlfriend is awake? I can hardly take the suspense!

1 comment:

  1. I don't even watch this show but your run down made me proper lol.

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