Friday, March 9, 2012

The Walking Dead: Can We Please Make It The Daryl Dixon Variety Hour?

First of all - if you're not caught up on Walking Dead and you don't want to be spoiled, be gone!

WTF man? Dale goes wandering off alone (like an idiot) in the middle of the night (like an idiot) and the most silent zombie in the history of zombies shows up out of nowhere and rips his stomach open with his bare hands. Mr. Zombie hasn't eaten in forever. We know this. He just got unstuck from the mud. He's literally skin and bones. But he can tear through flesh with his hands. Bull crap.

Norman Reedus as Daryl Dixon on The Walking Dead Norman Reedus as Daryl Dixon on The Walking Dead
No. It's insanity. There's no logic. I watch this show for two reasons and two reasons only. 1) My roommates watch it. 2) Norman Reedus.

Norman Reedus as Daryl Dixon on The Walking Dead Norman Reedus as Daryl Dixon on The Walking Dead
He. Is. Awesome. And he's also pretty angsty. They don't let it be The Daryl Show often enough, but his scenes are always the only ones that don't blow.

Norman Reedus as Daryl Dixon on The Walking Dead Norman Reedus as Daryl Dixon on The Walking Dead
The thing is - we don't really know what he's angsty about because the writing is so abysmal. They've made it clear that he's only pretending not to care about anyone or anything. Why? Who the hell knows. But Norman Reedus is so dynamic, it doesn't matter that there's nothing awesome actually written. He brings it anyway. He's a pleasure to watch. 

Norman Reedus as Daryl Dixon on The Walking Dead Norman Reedus as Daryl Dixon on The Walking Dead
This past week, Walking Dead stole a scene from Lost and had Daryl old-school torture information out of someone. At least he didn't shove bamboo shoots up the guy's fingernails. That storyline is a whole separate wtf. Why would they kill that guy? Why would that guy be loyal to the people who left him? Why is it taking four episodes to make a freaking decision?

AND! Why do they even want to stay on this farm? Why don't they all move into separate farms and start a colony? Or better yet - a freaking island! Let's de-zombify Alcatraz and then live there. Yay! Safety!

Norman Reedus as Daryl Dixon on The Walking Dead Norman Reedus as Daryl Dixon on The Walking Dead
But no. We can't leave the old veterinarian who's going to die soon and his crazy in-shock-for-no-reason daughter. Blah. I can't talk about things that aren't Daryl because it drives me too crazy. So...back to Daryl.

Where are they going with Daryl and Carol? Mother/son I'm fine with. He could use a mommy. But in reality, the actors are 43 and 46. I'm a little worried it's not going to be mother/son. And, frankly, ewwwww. She's horrible. Weak and insane and irritating and just NO. I wretch a little just thinking about it. 

Melissa Suzanne McBride as Carol "It's just a spider, Carol. Calm down." Norman Reedus Daryl on The Walking Dead
ALSO -- I'm sorry but this vest with the wings is LAME. No way would a bad ass wear that. No. Way. FAIL costume people. 

Norman Reedus as Daryl Dixon "Hey, Dale. Like my vest? I got it at Hot Topic." The Walking Dead angel wings vest
Ugh. Obviously this isn't my favorite show. 

Norman Reedus as Daryl Yes, Norman Reedus. Shoot me in the face and make it end.  Dixon on The Walking Dead
Basically, I'm a big ball of frustration while watching The Walking Dead. Because it could be cool. It looks cool. And Daryl's cool. But that's it. The rest is a big pile of decomposing, rotting, smelly suck.

12 comments:

  1. It just feels like so much wasted potential. I was a fan of the comics and was so excited when I heard it was being made into TV.

    And then they introduced some new characters who were awesome (the Dixon brothers!) and I thought it had the potential to be better even than the comics, but alas, no.

    I guess I'll keep downloading it in the hopes that it starts to get its groove back though.

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  2. Yes, I keep hoping things will suddenly be awesome. Maybe with the cast changing up a bit, they'll introduce some new characters. Personally, I wouldn't mind a few more youngish males...

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  3. Saying you "wouldn't mind a few more youngish males..." kinda makes you sound like a creeper! I mean, I get what you mean, young males are nice to look at, but, ugh, now I sound like a creeper. Sigh.

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  4. Ha. Right. Edit: I wouldn't mind a few more males in the 19-29 range. That should be specific enough...

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  5. Well if they stick with the comics, we should get a couple awesome characters show up soon (and some of the current crop should become more awesome as well).

    I think I know what you mean by the 'youngish males' thing. But then the subject of this blog kinda indicates people on here would appreciate some more young angsty type men on their screens. :D

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  6. The thing with Walking Dead is, the first season was AWESOME. In pretty much every sense of the word. But the second season saw the firing of the creator (Frank Darabont, which STILL nobody is talking about) and the slashing of their budget and the request for "can we do fewer zombies?" I think the big driving force behind Daryl is Merle and the fact that Daryl feels like he SHOULD be furious at these people for what they did to Merle (AND I'M STILL WAITING FOR ONE-HANDED MICHAEL ROOKER TO SHOW UP AND KICK SOME ASS, OKAY?) but instead, he's bonding with them and helping them survive. There's a lot of familial loyalty that's twisting his boxers right now, and they kind-of go into it in... whatever episode it was that Daryl was off hunting Sophia and got thrown from the horse and then Andrea (whom I hate) shot him. Because that's also the episode where he hallucinates Merle and Merle castigates him like he's just a little kid and tells him he's weak, etc. So he's trying to live up to Merle and not care, but he does care. And that's why Daryl's awesome, but also why Walking Dead sucks, because hello, LET'S FOCUS A BIT MORE ON THE INTERESTING CHARACTERS, PLEASE. But hopefully next season will find its stride.

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  7. Darryl rides a HARLEY...the angel wings on his vest are a Harley symbol.......just so you know....

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  8. It's not actually a Harley. It's a Triumph. And either way - those wings aren't the Harley wings.

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  9. Those are bad ass wings, I think, because everything Daryl does/says/wears just becomes badass. JUST because he's doing/saying/wearing it. But onto a different topic. Where the hell is Merle? He needs to show up, kick a little ass, and rule. We ALSO need to see Daryl's BACKGROUND or something, because that would be an interesting episode! Right?!?!?! I like the fact he's still all angsty even as he's getting close with them. "Bitch, I don't want you here!" (said from Daryl to Carol.) And I'm still looking for more zombies, even though this last episode was totally badass. Totally psyched for the next season, however, even though Robert Kirkman needs to kick up the notch on Daryl.
    Daryl Dixon status: Winning!

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  10. I agree, Ewww to a Daryl / Carol romantic relationship. Mother and son would be a nice unique angle for a TV show though. By the way has anybody else noticed a hair colour change? Seems to be blond in season one and almost red in season 2.

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  11. Mother and son for Carol and Daryl! I think Daryl is too independent to want or need someone AND remain a credible character. He also doesn't just sleep around for fun like Andrea and Shane.

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  12. Boy I'm.glad most of u were wrong. The series is for t.v
    Not that I don't love the comics. It could use a few more badasses. So. Darryl can hang with someone and get more out of him

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