Monday, October 29, 2012

Once Upon A Time: Thanks For All The Sexy

So much evil-sexy on last night's Once Upon A Time, I can't even take it! There was Rumpelstiltskin, Captain Hook, Dr. Frankenstein, Prince Charming and of course The Mad Hatter who was being so so so so sexy it made my eyeballs hurt.

Robert Carlyle as Rumpelstiltskin on Once Upon A Time S02E05 The Doctor OUAT Robert Carlyle Rumpel Rumple Once Upon A Time Season 2 OUAT
We start out with Rumpel and Regina. They're right in the thick of Regina's magical education. She's gotten pretty decent at wielding magical power, but she's still too human to crush unicorn hearts for no reason. Right on, Regina. Crushing a unicorn heart is like #1 on PETA's list of evil things.

Robert Carlyle as Rumpelstiltskin on Once Upon A Time S02E05 The Doctor OUAT Robert Carlyle Rumpel OUAT Rumple Once Upon A Time Season 2
Then begins the cycle of manipulation. Jefferson shows up to deliver a crystal ball to Rumpel at just the right time. He learns of Regina's desire to bring Daniel back from the dead. I have to say, I absolutely loooooooove him as this magic dealer guy. How insanely FUN was his performance? I want more pre-Grace Jefferson! More more more!!

Robert Carlyle Sebastian Stan Rumpelstiltskin Jefferson The Mad Hatter Once Upon A Time S02E05 OUAT The Doctor Once Upon A Time Season 2
Look at him! Being all mad and whimsical. And also smokin hot.

Sebastian Stan as Jefferson The Mad Hatter Once Upon A Time Season 2 S02E05 The Doctor Jefferson The Mad Hatter Sebastian Stan Season Two
Jefferson claims that he can hook Regina up with the one guy capable of resurrection. This guy apparently has something more powerful than magic.

Sebastian Stan and Lana Parrilla as Jefferson the Mad Hatter and Regina on Once Upon A Time S02E05 The Doctor Season 2 Two OUAT Regina Jefferson
Jefferson takes Regina to meet the mysterious doctor. And so begins the weird American Horror Story: Asylum parallel of science vs. magic. Once Upon A Time seems like a weird vehicle for this theme. They have always fell pretty heavily on the side of magic. So why introduce a character who has science... but also must have some sort of magic too. Because Jefferson can get to The Doctor's world with his hat. And his hat can only go between magical realms. So it's not even SCIENCE science. It's magic-science...

Sebastian Stan as Jefferson The Mad Hatter Once Upon A Time Season 2 S02E05 The Doctor Jefferson The Mad Hatter Sebastian Stan Season Two
Whatever. Jefferson doesn't want me to overthink it. The doctor turns out to be Frankenstein - if that wasn't already crystal clear. And I agree with the internetians who cry foul because he's not a fairytale character. But oh well. If they want someone to represent science, I guess he's just as good a choice as anyone.


So Jefferson and Dr. Frankenstein have a nice little chat about who tailors their coats. Because these gentlemen are dressed sharp. And Dr. Frankenstein tells Jefferson next time he's in Lighting-Land, they should totally have a mall day even if everything at the mall is black and white.

David Anders as Dr. Frankenstein Dr. Whale on Once Upon A Time S02E05 The Doctor OUAT Season 2 David Anders Once Upon A Time Doctor 
Dr. Frankenstein puts on a puppet show for Regina and Jeferson in which he tries to bring Daniel back to life.

Sebastian Stan and Lana Parrilla as Jefferson the Mad Hatter and Regina on Once Upon A Time S02E05 The Doctor Season 2 Two OUAT Regina Jefferson
He fails and then destroys Regina with the news. Once her heart is broken fully, she returns to Rumpelstiltskin totally willing to crush any heart he wants.

David Anders Sebastian Stan Jefferson The Mad Hatter Dr. Frankenstein Once Upon A Time Season 2 S02E05 The Doctor Season Two David Anders
Then! Twist! The whole thing was all a ruse concocted by Rumpel to turn Regina evil. Dr. Frankenstein is a whore and Jefferson his willing accomplice. At least now there's a good reason for Regina to kind of hate them both. All Dr. Frankenstein really wanted was one of her hearts to bring home.

Robert Carlyle Sebastian Stan Rumpelstiltskin Jefferson The Mad Hatter Once Upon A Time S02E05 OUAT The Doctor Once Upon A Time Season 2
Robert Carlyle Sebastian Stan Rumpelstiltskin Jefferson The Mad Hatter Once Upon A Time S02E05 OUAT The Doctor Once Upon A Time Season 2
He returns to his colorless land with one glowing, red, magical heart.

David Anders as Dr. Frankenstein Dr. Whale on Once Upon A Time S02E05 The Doctor OUAT Season 2 David Anders Once Upon A Time Doctor 
He implants it into his brother and, can you believe it, HE'S ALIVE!!

David Anders as Dr. Frankenstein Dr. Whale on Once Upon A Time S02E05 The Doctor OUAT Season 2 David Anders Once Upon A Time Doctor 
Okay, so those are the sexy evil men of the past playing sexy evil mind games on Regina turning her evil and I guess also sexy if you're into vampy middle aged mom-types.

Colin O'Donoghue as Captain Hook Killian Jones Once Upon A Time The Doctor Season 2 S02E05 OUAT Colin O'Donoghue Captain Hook OUAT
But back with our cohort of Disney Princesses, Captain Hook is playing his own evil-sexy mind games. Except happily, Emma is a lot smarter than Regina. She cannot be so easily fooled.

Colin O'Donoghue Jennifer Morrison Emma as Captain Hook Killian Jones Once Upon A Time The Doctor Season 2 S02E05 OUAT Captain Hook OUAT
She knows he's lying. And she calls him out on it. And she wins. All those things make me smile.

Colin O'Donoghue as Captain Hook Killian Jones Once Upon A Time The Doctor Season 2 S02E05 OUAT Colin O'Donoghue Captain Hook OUAT
And her reaction when she realizes he's Captain Hook is just marvelous. Yay for the comedy of normal people trapped in a fairytale land. They go off to climb a beanstalk. I hope Hook and Emma will be BFFs forever and ever - it might make me like both of them more.

Josh Dallas as David Nolan Prince Charming Once Upon A Time The Doctor Season 2 S02E05 OUAT Josh Dallas Prince Charming  OUAT
Also. David exists. He's a beacon of righteousness without an evil bone in his body. But he's kind of sexy too. So way to go, OUAT! You brought lots and lots of sexy to my Sunday night. I thank you very kindly. Let's do it again next week.

2 comments:

  1. ["Also. David exists. He's a beacon of righteousness without an evil bone in his body. "]


    How boring. No wonder he's not an interesting character this season. He's not human. He's an embodiment of humanity's illusion of itself.

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  2. I agree... Rumplestilskin is MUCH cooler and sexier.

    ReplyDelete