Friday, November 2, 2012

The Vampire Diaries: The Five, A Fug Professor, And Damon In A Top Hat

Last night's The Vampire Diaries was all about the hunt. But who is the predator and who is the prey can change at the drop of a top hat. And hunting for information can be just as vital as hunting for sustenance or to rid the world of evil. In Mystic Falls, everyone is hunting and everyone being hunted.

Ian Somerhalder as Damon Salvatore on The Vampire Diaries S04E04 The Five Season Four Damon in a top hat on Halloween Delena TVD Damon and Elena
In "The Five," The Brothers Salvatore (TBS - Characters Welcome) split apart for separate storylines. While Stefan's off hunting for info on the hunters, Damon is busy teaching Elena how to be a hunter herself. You know what that means! It's time for another Delena road trip!

Ian Somerhalder Damon The Vampire Diaries These road trips never really work out for me... Ian Somerhalder Damon The Vampire Diaries
But the episode begins with us meeting the titular Five. Guys. This is THE Five. Are we shocked that the lovelies over at TVD walked into a Powerhouse Gym and picked the five beef-cakiest dudes they could find? These fellas could crush some skulls.

Paul Telfer as Alexander on The Vampire Diaries Paul Telfer as Alexander on The Vampire Diaries S04E04 The Five
Paul Telfer as Alexander on The Vampire Diaries Paul Telfer as Alexander on The Vampire Diaries S04E04 The Five
Unfortunately, all their macho manly manliness can't protect them from the wrath of Klaus in a hobbit wig. And none of them make it out of the flashback alive. The good news is, they're primed and ready to take part in the 300 sequel. But back to the roadtrip. Sure, the excuse for why Damon has to be the one to teach Elena is flimsy (Stefan is too bad, Caroline is too good, but Damon's just right) but I don't care. Any old excuse for some Damon inner turmoil is fine by me.

Ian Somerhalder as Damon Salvatore on The Vampire Diaries S04E04 The Five Season Four Damon in a top hat on Halloween Delena TVD Damon and Elena
Okay, but riddle me this. You're walking around with a guy that looks like that ^^ and he's looking at you like this vv

Ian Somerhalder as Damon Salvatore on The Vampire Diaries S04E04 The Five Season Four Damon in a top hat on Halloween Delena TVD Damon and Elena
And then you sit down and say this guy is hot?!

David Alpay as Professor Shane on The Vampire Diaries S04E04 The Five
Ha. Not in your lifetime, buddy. No one can rock a top hat like Ian Somerhalder.

Ian Somerhalder as Damon Salvatore on The Vampire Diaries S04E04 The Five Season Four Damon in a top hat on Halloween Delena TVD Damon and Elena
So Elena fails in her first attempt at biting a normal girl because she realizes that normal girl has a family and if you bite someone with a family, clearly that whole family would suffer... or something. But luckily, the costumed crusaders stumble upon a date rapist just begging to be bitten. Thankfully, Mr. Roofie didn't have a picture of himself with his puppy on his phone, or Elena might have chickened out again. But after she takes a nice long pull on his carotid, Elena is flying high and ready to play with Damon's emotions.

Ian Somerhalder as Damon Salvatore on The Vampire Diaries S04E04 The Five Season Four Damon in a top hat on Halloween Delena TVD Damon and Elena
I never quite realized that vampires on blood was like ravers on e. But that's definitely the image we were sold last night. Was it just me or is dancing not exactly Damon's strong suit...

Ian Somerhalder Damon Salvatore The Vampire Diaries S04E04 The Five Season Four Damon dances with Elena Nina Dobrev Delena TVD Damon and Elena
Ian Somerhalder Damon Salvatore The Vampire Diaries S04E04 The Five Season Four Damon dances with Elena Nina Dobrev Delena TVD Damon and Elena
Because fun is happening, Bonnie has to show up and ruin everything with her judgey eyes:

The Eyes of Judgement
Yeah. Try enjoying yourself with that scowl hovering in the doorway. Elena and Bonnie freak out about the fact that Elena momentarily wasn't feeling any crushing guilt over stealing some blood when Damon shows up and tells them to get the F over it. She drinks blood. Accept it and move on.

Ian Somerhalder Damon Salvatore on The Vampire Diaries S04E04 The Five Season Four Damon is freakin hot covered in blood Delena TVD Damon Elena
But there is no acceptance. Instead, there is Damon soul smashing. Elena tells him that she doesn't want to be like him. Like... really?! He's like THE BEST. I want to be like him. She sooo easily forgives the fact that Stefan literally rips people up and then plays with their disassembled bodies, but enjoying a few sips of blood like Damon - FOR SOOTH!

Ian Somerhalder Damon Salvatore The Vampire Diaries S04E04 The Five Season Four Damon Ian Somerhalder Damon Season 4 Delena TVD Damon Elena
Ian Somerhalder Damon Salvatore The Vampire Diaries S04E04 The Five Season Four Damon Ian Somerhalder Damon Season 4 Delena TVD Damon Elena
Homegirl is nuts. I think every character on television should be more like Damon. In fact, all actual people IRL should be like Damon so that there are enough Damons to go around. Wouldn't that just be the best? The episode ends with Damon passing Elena back over to Stefan because she's crazy and TVD likes to see Damon alone and tortured. I'm not going to lie - I kind of like it too. But that doesn't mean it makes any sense.

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