Thursday, October 24, 2013

American Horror Story Coven: Incest, Threesomes, and True Love

Well. I wanted angst and American Horror Story delivered. 

Lily Rabe Misty Day Evan Peters Kyle Spencer American Horror Story Coven Season 3 The Replacements Evan Peters AHS Season 3 Kyle Zoe Misty
The Kyle storyline started tame enough with Misty and Kyle cuddling in her swamp shack. Misty was rambling on about her one and only topic of conversation, Stevie Nicks, and Kyle was a captive audience. It was all very zen. Misty talked about finding one's tribe which definitely seems to be her THING. I might be going out on a limb here, but Misty should consider joining Fleetwood Mac. Then Zoe came in and Kyle's eyes went straight to her. Aww.

Evan Peters Kyle Spencer American Horror Story Coven Season 3 AHS The Replacements Evan Peters AHS Season 3 Kyle Zoe Misty Evan Peters Season 3
Misty was actually pretty happy to see Zoe too. She needed someone else around in order to use Kyle for show-and-tell. Misty ripped open his shirt to display what a great job she'd done covering his seams. And she had done a great job. Congratulations, Misty. Your reward is abandonment.

Evan Peters Kyle Spencer Zoe American Horror Story Coven Season 3 AHS The Replacements Evan Peters AHS Season 3 Kyle shirtless Evan Peters 
Kyle doesn't seem super thrilled with Misty's paws all over him. Perhaps he was reminded of someone else's creepster paws. Maybe it's happening off screen, but I still feel like the logical thing to do is to test his cognition somehow. They do a lot of talking at him but they don't seem to pay a ton of attention to his reactions. Also -- kudos to Evan Peters for having reactions without making Kyle un-FrankenKyle.

Evan Peters Kyle Spencer Zoe American Horror Story Coven Season 3 AHS The Replacements Evan Peters AHS Season 3 Kyle shirtless Evan Peters 
Either way, he seems happiest when looking at Zoe. They're all cute and glowy and blonde. And he wants to play with her hair. Again -- missed opportunity, Zoe. I would have played with his hair right back. It's a good thing his face was so undamaged and his hair so un-singed in the big fiery explosion.

Evan Peters Kyle Spencer Zoe American Horror Story Coven Season 3 AHS The Replacements Evan Peters AHS Season 3 Kyle shirtless Evan Peters 
Evan Peters Kyle Spencer Zoe Taissa Farmiga American Horror Story Coven Season 3 AHS The Replacements AHS Season 3 Kyle Zoe Taissa Evan Peters 
Misty really wants them all to stick together and have a big happy three-way. But Zoe has other plans. After a brief meeting with Kyle's mom during which she confessed that she'd been considering suicide, do-gooder Zoe makes the decision that Kyle should be returned to her. Zoe just pawns this boy off on crazy after crazy. Why not keep him for yourself, Zoe?!

Evan Peters Kyle Spencer Lily Rabe Misty Day Zoe Benson Taissa Farmiga American Horror Story Coven Season 3 AHS The Replacements AHS
Misty really doesn't want them to leave. But with an angry grunt and swing of his arm, Kyle chooses Zoe over Misty. And Misty is left alone. Again. Is there some reason Misty can't go hang out at the school with the other witches? She's pretty and blonde -- she'd fit RIGHT in. And then she'd have a tribe. And a shower.

Lily Rabe Misty Day Evan Peters Kyle Spencer American Horror Story Coven Season 3 The Replacements Evan Peters AHS Season 3 Kyle Zoe Misty
But Zoe doesn't care about Misty. She takes Kyle home and leaves him standing on his mother's front porch. She couldn't even walk him in? Like... come up with a lie, girl! You don't just leave broken boys on front porches. Especially when they clearly prefer you to all other people.

Evan Peters Kyle Spencer American Horror Story Coven Season 3 AHS The Replacements Evan Peters AHS Season 3 Kyle Zoe Evan Peters Season 3 AHS
So Kyle takes a shower and his mother creepily takes note of the fact that he's not actually Kyle from the neck down.

Evan Peters Kyle Spencer American Horror Story Coven Season 3 AHS The Replacements shower Evan Peters AHS Season 3 Kyle Zoe Evan Peters Season 3
Then the big reveal: Kyle's mom is... gross. There's incest. Need I say more?

Evan Peters Kyle Spencer American Horror Story Coven Season 3 AHS incest The Replacements Evan Peters AHS Season 3 Kyle Zoe Evan Peters Season 3
I did NOT see this one coming. It's angsty, that's for sure. Kyle cries while his mom... well. Just fill in the ellipsis for yourself. Anytime you see ellipsis just think "gross." The interesting thing is that Kyle must understand what's going on to a degree. He wouldn't cry otherwise. So he's in there. I couldn't help but wonder what pre-death Kyle must have really been like. Clearly he had a screwed up home life, and yet he was a saintly frat-boy with southern charm up the wazoo.

Evan Peters Kyle Spencer American Horror Story Coven Season 3 AHS incest The Replacements Evan Peters AHS Season 3 Kyle Zoe Evan Peters Season 3
In general, I enjoy the angst that incest causes. I was a big proponent of the Jimmy Darmody freak-show on Boardwalk Empire. But my concern here is that this is actually going to be irrelevant to Kyle's current state. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe there's some awesome arc to come involving Zoe's inability to have sex without killing and Kyle's presumably damaged psyche. But I think we should all manage our expectations.

Evan Peters Kyle Spencer American Horror Story Coven Season 3 AHS incest The Replacements Evan Peters AHS Season 3 Kyle Zoe Evan Peters Season 3
Anyway. Kyle's mom once again freaks out about his not-Kyle body and then she too rips his shirt open. Then he looses it. He's had his shirt ruined for the last time! He screams and bashes her skull in. His one word seems to be "no" which is a good word for him to have full use of. I think that'll be helpful in terms of all the torso exposing ladies in his life.

Evan Peters Kyle Spencer American Horror Story Coven Season 3 AHS incest The Replacements Evan Peters AHS Season 3 Kyle Zoe Evan Peters Season 3
Then Zoe stops by for dinner and learns, much to her dismay, that Kyle once again needs a shower.

Evan Peters Kyle Spencer American Horror Story Coven Season 3 AHS incest The Replacements Evan Peters AHS Season 3 Kyle Zoe Evan Peters Season 3
And so ends another week of American Horror Story: Mommy Issues. See you next week!

Thursday, October 17, 2013

American Horror Story Coven: Kyle's Boy Parts

American Horror Story: Coven aired its second episode last night. Boy Parts!! Get it? vvv Sorry for the gross out. But  I feel like now we've met the REAL Kyle Spencer. It's the variety of Kyle we'll presumably get for the duration of the season. And ya'll, this set up is pretty freakin' awesome. And by awesome I of course mean angsty.

AHS Coven Evan Peters Kyle Spencer American Horror Story Season 3 Coven Kyle AHS American Horror Story Coven Season 3 Evan Peters AHS S03E02
DAMN that's a gruesome pic. Before I talk about this week's AHS -- did you see all the delightful stuff Ryan Murphy said in his weekly EW interview? Let me draw your attention to the best bits:

"And I just love that he becomes this monster who is only in love and can protect one person, his creator. So it’s sort of a reverse Dr. Frankenstein."
 "Evan is really killing this part this year. The next episode has an insane Kyle/Evan story. He’s such a great actor, and I love what he does physically. He really has risen to the challenge of the part... The question is: Can he be rehabilitated? Can she help him move towards becoming a man? Or is he always going to be a monster? Or is he going to sort of be a combination of both? In the next episode, he says his first word and then he pretty much stays in that mode for a while."

So. Zoe's going to be the only person he can love/protect. Awwww. I dig that SO hard core. It's like he's this wild animal who is only loyal to Zoe.  RM also mentions that Kyle's mom is in next week's episode. I hope he doesn't kill her... but I kind of hope he kills her because it would be a major angst bomb if he ever regains some pre-death cognition.

But. Enough speculating about the future. This past week, we got to see the witchy blondes build their perfect boyfriend. Apparently perfect means covered in stitches, unable to talk, unpredictably violent, and with a few gaping wounds. Also... the face of Evan Peters. Sounds about right.

AHS Coven Evan Peters Kyle Spencer American Horror Story Season 3 Coven Kyle AHS American Horror Story Coven Season 3 Evan Peters AHS S03E02
Taissa Farmiga as Zoe Benson American Horror Story Season 3 Coven Frankenstein Kyle Zoe AHS AHS Coven Season 3 Taissa Farmiga AHS Zoe
First thing homeboy does when he puts back on his mortal coil is bludgeon a guard to death with his forearm. At least, I'm assuming the guard died. But maybe he was just knocked out and went home naked and confused. He was really only there to deliver his car and clothing anyway.

AHS Coven Evan Peters Kyle Spencer American Horror Story Season 3 Coven Kyle AHS American Horror Story Coven Season 3 Evan Peters AHS S03E02
Then Zoe and Kyle go for a little drive. I don't know where her intended destination was but she picks a pretty horrible time to freak FrankenKyle out about the fact that he's been brought back from the dead. He starts thrashing and groaning as only an undead monsterish-type can, until boho-swamp-witch Misty Day pops up and starts back seat driving.

Taissa Farmiga Evan Peters as Kyle Spencer American Horror Story Coven Frankenstein Kyle AHS American Horror Story Coven Season 3 Kyle and Zoe
They go over to Misty's house to listen to some chill tuneage and chat about witchcraft. The whole while, Kyle is twitching in his chair in the corner. But -- cutest of cutenesses -- he seems really distressed when Zoe says she has to leave. He literally clings.

Taissa Farmiga Evan Peters Kyle Spencer Zoe American Horror Story Season 3 Coven Frankenstein Kyle AHS American Horror Story Coven Season 3 Kyle 
Taissa Farmiga Evan Peters as Kyle Spencer American Horror Story Coven Frankenstein Kyle AHS American Horror Story Coven Season 3 Kyle and Zoe

How many of ya'll went "Awwwww" when Kyle grabbed Zoe's hand like that. I know I did (internally... I was in a room with other people. I didn't want to be judged!) How she resisted the urge to provide hugs and comfort I do not know. But he definitely needs a hug. And an explanation. And they should test out how cognizant he really is. All things I'd have done immediately. But whatevs -- patience is  virtue. Or so I'm told. I shall try to remain virtuous until next week!

Thursday, October 10, 2013

American Horror Story Season 3: Kyle Spencer

Guys!! American Horror Story is back! American Horror Story: Coven finally premiered last night and Evan Peters returned in all his blonde glory. Hallelujha -- now it's really Halloween season. 

Taissa Farmiga and Evan Peters on American Horror Story Season 3 Coven Season Three Kyle Spencer Zoe Benson AHS Coven Evan Peters Kyle
His name is Kyle Spencer, his family is poor, he's in college on a scholarship, he's in a fraternity, and he doesn't condone rape. So far, so good. We meet him as he's laying down the law to his fraternity brothers. No puking. No pissing. No public exposure. If only he had added "No gang-banging roofied movie stars" things would have gone differently for him. A missed opportunity, Kyle. Really, it's all your fault.

Taissa Farmiga and Evan Peters on American Horror Story Season 3 Coven Season Three Kyle Spencer Zoe Benson AHS Coven Evan Peters Kyle
Kyle's fellow frat brother, Grey Damon, is basically an evil monster, and for the second time in two years, his character is killed by a witch. At least this time he deserved it. But you know who didn't? Kyle!! Poor Kyle. I'm looking forward to seeing how you look dead.

Taissa Farmiga and Evan Peters on American Horror Story Season 3 Coven Season Three Kyle Spencer Zoe Benson AHS Coven Evan Peters Kyle

Ryan Murphy promised us Romeo and Juliet -- so I'm expecting some major love angst between Zoe and Kyle. Like -- Capulet = living and Montague = dead. Or Capulet = whole and Montague = in pieces. Or... I don't know. Maybe Kyle will be the one dude Zoe can actually screw without damaging. Except then isn't she technically screwing... well. Let's not get into it yet. Guessing with Ryan Murphy is always a dangerous game.

Taissa Farmiga and Evan Peters on American Horror Story Season 3 Coven Season Three Kyle Spencer Zoe Benson AHS Coven Evan Peters Kyle
Yeah. AHS is back. Evan Peters is adorable as always. And I prefer him blonde. Score one, AHS Coven.

Monday, September 30, 2013

Breaking Bad Series Finale: So Long and Thanks for All the Angst

You guys. I don't think I've ever been so pleased by a finale before. After the giant hole of suck that was the Dexter finale, I'm so relieved that Breaking Bad did it right. After all the build up, the BB team had monumental expectations to live up to. And personally, I had a very concrete list of things that I was hoping to see. Happily, I got to see pretty much every single one of them.

Obviously, spoilers to follow. Some in picture form. Beware!!

Breaking Bad Finale Elliot and Gretchen Schwartz Adam Godley Jessica Hecht Bryan Cranston Walter White Breaking Bad Series Finale Felina Breaking Bad
The big thing they had to contend with was how Walt was going to get his money to his family. As necessary as the money arrangements were, long term financial planning isn't the most exciting thing to watch. So they smartly dispensed with the money arrangements right off the bat in a nice little suburban emotional torture scene. It's always nice to see obscenely rich people get inconvenienced by dying meth kings. Always.

Breaking Bad Finale Elliot and Gretchen Schwartz Adam Godley Jessica Hecht Bryan Cranston Walter White Breaking Bad Series Finale Felina Breaking Bad
Just look at the stress he's causing them! For real though -- I'm glad (and impressed) the writers came up with a plausible way for Walt to leave behind his money to his family. And I'm going to choose to believe that Elliot and Gretchen just follow through on everything. Rather than, you know, hire an awesome security team and turn the money in to the DEA. Because that would be a bummer.

Breaking Bad Finale Skylar White Anna Gunn Walter and Skylar Bryan Cranston Walter White Breaking Bad Series Finale Felina Breaking Bad
And then Walt said his goodbyes to his family. Also well done. And also something they sort of had to get through to get to the big finish. Skylar has annoyingly started acting like she actually was a total blameless victim rather than the leader of the money laundering team.  But whatever. It was a satisfying conclusion to his family life. Poor Holly, though, right? She's going to grow up in a screwed up family. And I'm guessing her big bro won't be painting a rosy image of their dearly departed dad. Jesse should come kidnap her. And raise her as Brock's sister. But hold on!! I'm not to Jesse yet.

Breaking Bad Finale Bryan Cranston Walter White Breaking Bad Series Finale Felina Breaking Bad
And bonus!! We didn't have to actually see a scene with Flynn being an annoying little punk. I'm so over that kid. But we can probably assume he'll be sticking with "Flynn" the rest of his life.

And then. Finally. Jesse. Jesse Jesse Jesse. The heart and soul of Breaking Bad. One of THE angstiest characters to ever be. Walt goes to take down the meth-nazis almost entirely because they killed Hank. (And maybe because they robbed him. And maybe because they're still making his meth and he's got a trademark. But mostly because they killed Hank). He doesn't care about getting his money back. He doesn't know until he sees Skylar that they threatened her. He's taking them down and Jesse with them.

When he arrives, he discovers that Jesse isn't their happy little sidekick. Jesse gets led into the meth-nazi drug party in chains, looking like he's been floating on a raft with Wilson for six months. Sidenote: It's a good thing king of the meth-nazis rose to Walt's Marty McFly challenge and didn't just kill him. Because that too would have been a bummer.

Breaking Bad Series Finale Jesse Pinkman Aaron Paul Breaking Bad Series Finale Felina Breaking Bad Series Finale Jesse Pinkman
Walt sees just how low Jesse is. And he must know it's his fault. He must know Jesse was just a happy little small-time dealer before Walt came along and ruined his life and crushed his spirit. So. Walt saves Jesse from his awesome automatic trunk-gun of doom. Walt saves Jesse. WALT SAVES JESSE!! That was Giant Thing #1 I wanted for the Breaking Bad finale.

Breaking Bad Finale Jesse Pelmons Todd Breaking Bad Series Finale Felina Breaking Bad Series Finale
And Landry makes it through trunk-apocalypse alive. Just so that Jesse can be the one to kill him. Jesse killing Todd was Giant Thing #2 I wanted for the Breaking Bad finale. Another sidenote: It bums me out that more of the world will know Jesse Plemons as Todd than as Landry. It probably doesn't bum him out because I'm guessing Breaking Bad is the best thing ever to have on your resume. But you guys -- go know Landry on Friday Night Lights if you don't already. He wasn't a crazy psycho killer. He was just an accidental one-time killer...

Breaking Bad Series Finale Jesse Pinkman Aaron Paul Breaking Bad Series Finale Felina Breaking Bad Series Finale Jesse Kills Todd Jesse Plemons
So Todd's dead. The rest of the Hank killing nazis are dead. But Walt has been shot. Jesse considers finishing the job.

Breaking Bad Series Finale Jesse Pinkman Aaron Paul Breaking Bad Series Finale Felina Breaking Bad Series Finale Jesse Pinkman
Breaking Bad Series Finale Jesse Pinkman Aaron Paul Breaking Bad Series Finale Felina Breaking Bad Series Finale Jesse Pinkman
But he doesn't. Jesse does't kill Walt. Good for Jesse. He's done killing. He hates doing it. He always has -- it makes him depressed and forces him to go go-karting.

Breaking Bad Series Finale Jesse Pinkman Aaron Paul Breaking Bad Series Finale Felina Breaking Bad Series Finale Jesse Pinkman
Breaking Bad Series Finale Jesse Pinkman Aaron Paul Breaking Bad Series Finale Felina Breaking Bad Series Finale Jesse Pinkman
Jesse and Walt share an acknowledgment nod. Perfect perfect perfect. That's as good as it's going to get between these two. After Jane and Brock and everything that went down in the desert, there's no chance of relationship repair. But acknowledgment nod I can buy. Acknowledgement nod is the right way to go.

Breaking Bad Series Finale Jesse Pinkman Aaron Paul Breaking Bad Series Finale Felina Breaking Bad Series Finale Jesse Pinkman escape
And Jesse breaks free. Breaking Free!! Look at that face ^ He drives straight to Alaska on one tank of gas in that beat up old car and starts his happy life as a fish monger with an adorable girlfriend who's never tried drugs ever. Jesse lives. Giant Thing #3 I really wanted in the Breaking Bad finale. I've been hoping for Jesse's freedom for years now. Thank goodness they allowed it to be. Jesse lives Jesse lives Jesse lives. Make me a t-shirt, world.

Breaking Bad Finale Bryan Cranston Walter White Breaking Bad Series Finale Felina Breaking Bad Walt dead final shot Breaking Bad
And Walt peaces out. Once and for all. Alone in a meth lab, never caught by the cops, never put in jail. He got a little redemption, he got his money to his family, he got Jesse free. Love and hearts and rainbows and smiles for the Breaking Bad finale. Suck it Dexter.

Monday, April 29, 2013

Angst Initiate: Bill Skarsgard as Roman Godfrey on Hemlock Grove



So I've been gone quite a while. There just hasn't been enough angst in my life lately. Even the typically angsty Vampire Diaries has been nothing but sucky evil Elena. I mean - she was relatively boring when she had emotions. It's more like Mystic Falls-Asleep these days -- amiright? 
Bill Skarsgard Roman Godfrey Hemlock Grove Netflix Roman Godfrey Bill Skarsgard Jellyfish in the Sky Bill Skarsgard Roman Hemlock Grove S01E01
But seriously folks. Something had to happen somewhere to peak my interest. Enter baby Skarsgard. We all know and love the original Scandinavian supermodel vampire that is Eric Northman. But come on - he's pushing forty. It's about time we bring in a replacement Scandinavian supermodel vampire. Behold. Bill Skarsgard. 

Bill Skarsgard Roman Godfrey Hemlock Grove Netflix Roman Godfrey Bill Skarsgard Jellyfish in the Sky Bill Skarsgard Roman Hemlock Grove S01E01
That's him ^^ sucking blood off his thumb. His finger is bleeding because he sliced it open during sex. He's got a kinky blood thing going on. I can dig it.

Bill Skarsgard shirtless Roman Godfrey Hemlock Grove Netflix Roman Godfrey Bill Skarsgard Jellyfish in the Sky Bill Skarsgard Roman Hemlock Grove
Here's the thing though... he's not super great at sounding American. I mean, I get it. It'd be a tricky thing. I can't even imagine trying to speak Swedish let alone managing to speak it like I was born in Sweden. But it's distracting at best. It comes across as terrible acting at worst.

Bill Skarsgard Roman Godfrey Hemlock Grove Netflix Roman Godfrey Bill Skarsgard Jellyfish in the Sky Bill Skarsgard Roman Hemlock Grove S01E01
Which is why I think he's sort of perfect for screen-capping. You can't hear him in these photos. He just looks like a Burberry model, selling us watches and giant stuffed monsters.

Bill Skarsgard Roman Godfrey Hemlock Grove Netflix Roman Godfrey Bill Skarsgard Jellyfish in the Sky Bill Skarsgard Roman Hemlock Grove S01E01
Also, the character Godfrey has a vaguely incestual thing going on with his cousin and his mom. You know that's something I can totally get behind. Ah, I miss Jimmy Darmody so freakin' much.

Bill Skarsgard shirtless Roman Godfrey Hemlock Grove Roman Godfrey Bill Skarsgard Jellyfish in the Sky Bill Skarsgard Roman Hemlock Grove S01E01
The other thing I noticed whilst a-screen-cappin is that he smokes a ton. Smoking is bad news, kids. Don't do it. Unless you're a crazy hot 6'4 dude and it draws attention to your super nice hands. Then you can have a pass.

Bill Skarsgard shirtless Roman Godfrey Hemlock Grove Roman Godfrey Bill Skarsgard Jellyfish in the Sky Bill Skarsgard Roman Hemlock Grove S01E01
Bill Skarsgard shirtless Roman Godfrey Hemlock Grove Roman Godfrey Bill Skarsgard Jellyfish in the Sky Bill Skarsgard Roman Hemlock Grove S01E01
That's really all I have to say for now. I should talk more about the character of Roman and Hemlock Grove at large -- but I don't really want to. These pictures are all from the first episode. In which we learn Roman is rich, into blood, nice to his sister, and apparently Swedish. Sometimes :)

Bill Skarsgard Roman Godfrey Hemlock Grove Netflix Roman Godfrey Bill Skarsgard Jellyfish in the Sky Bill Skarsgard Roman Hemlock Grove S01E01
Soda commercial?

Bill Skarsgard Roman Godfrey Hemlock Grove Netflix Roman Godfrey Bill Skarsgard Jellyfish in the Sky Bill Skarsgard Roman Hemlock Grove S01E01
Bill Skarsgard Roman Godfrey Hemlock Grove Netflix Roman Godfrey Bill Skarsgard Jellyfish in the Sky Bill Skarsgard Roman Hemlock Grove S01E01
Bill Skarsgard Roman Godfrey Hemlock Grove Netflix Roman Godfrey Bill Skarsgard Jellyfish in the Sky Bill Skarsgard Roman Hemlock Grove S01E01
Creepster mom. Ugh. Never have I found Famke Janssen so annoying. Oddly, it's Famke that wins the worst accent award for Hemlock Grove.

Bill Skarsgard Roman Godfrey Hemlock Grove Netflix Roman Godfrey Bill Skarsgard Jellyfish in the Sky Bill Skarsgard Roman Hemlock Grove S01E01
Yeah. He's hot. That's all for now.

Bill Skarsgard Roman Godfrey Hemlock Grove Netflix Roman Godfrey Bill Skarsgard Jellyfish in the Sky Bill Skarsgard Roman Hemlock Grove S01E01