Monday, October 31, 2011

The Secret Circle: Jake Armstrong Had A Facial Expression!

Okay, Secret Circle. Score one for you.

I've been very lukewarm toward Secret Circle thus far. The characters are incredibly underdeveloped, the show is 90% backstory, and there's essentially just one guy. And he hasn't done anything. This week, though, there was a plot point that surprised me and a moment that made me laugh. Pat on the back, SC. This comes on the heels of your one really great line last week. Things are looking up.

I also appreciate what they did with Adam and Jake last week. Thanks to Chris Zylka, I'm beginning to think all mediocre actors should be given playful psychopaths to play before they move on to things like genuine emotion. Jake was much better as a self-loathing, evil murderer than he was at whatever he was doing last week.

The Secret Circle Chris Zylka Hey everyone, look! I use facial expressions when I'm evil! The Secret Circle Chris Zylka
I'm also always able to get behind a relatively attractive guy slicing open his arm.

I cut so I can feel.
I also appreciated the ever so brief scene between Adam and his daddy. There's much angst to be had in a father/son relationship, especially when the father is a drunk and there's a dead mother involved. Adam needs more, though. I don't know anything about him besides his relationship status with various other characters on the show. What music does he like? Where does he hang out? What's he like in school? Boxers or briefs? Nothing. The same could be said of all the other characters but I only really care regarding Adam.

Let's stay broken up forever so I have an excuse to cry every week.
I have hope for Secret Circle. There are teenagers. There are supernatural happenings. There is angst potential. Maybe more will shake loose in the coming weeks. One can only hope.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Tate and the Infantata

I checked out the pilot of American Horror Story again last night, and I watched the scene of Tate in the basement very closely. He definitely seems to conjure the infantata and then this brief shot:

Tate and the Infantata
He's got his school-shooting makeup "on" there. Creepy, right? What does it all mean?

I may as well re-title this blog "The Tate Langdon Blog" considering that's sixty percent of what I blog about these days. Hopefully next week's episode will answer some of these questions.

**Update: for my theories on the season finale, click here! 

Friday, October 28, 2011

The Best Stefan Is A Tortured Stefan

When it comes to The Vampire Diaries, I'm a Delena fan all the way. I think Ian Somerhalder is just about as hot as hot gets. And the emotional torment Elena causes Damon is too damn sexy to resist. Stefan, on the other hand, is too often saddled with being the straight man. Totally boring. Totally loyal. Totally in love and blah blah blah.  Only occasionally does he make the needle on my angst radar move, and it's usually when he's in some form of discomfort. When Klaus forced him to attack Elena - yeah - I liked Stefan then. And last night, the torture-him-to-save-him storyline was a barrel full of fun.

Grr. I'm Stefan and I'm being tortured.
Having Lexi show up was a great idea. I just wish they'd given her a bit longer to play. She got, what, four scenes? And they totally glossed over the "logic" of what was going on. Did she just compel him into starvation? Why can she do that? Why can't Damon do that? It was fun, but it could have been more fun. I don't know if anyone's with me on this, but I'd be happy to sacrifice all current and future Bonnie storylines in service of more vampire time. 

I'm sad. I like Bonnie's storylines.


I'm looking forward to the post-fixed guilt ridden Stefan. Anyone read Vampire Academy? Dimitri in the end of Spirit Bound and then throughout Last Sacrifice? Most angst ridden and most fun. Love. I hope they do that with Stefan. 

On a separate note, this new (?) angsty trend of ghost romance is something that deserves its own post. Between Jeremy and Anna and Violet and Tate, I'm starting to see the wide world of possibilities when it comes to beings trapped in the netherworld. More on Jeremy and Anna in the future.


Also, I love Anna's Scrabble piece A ring. I wonder if she got that on "the other side" or if I can find one here.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Tate and Violet Sitting In A Tree

Tate and Violet Kiss During American Horror Story. Tate Langdon Violet Harmon Evan Peters Taissa Farmiga

American Horror Story: Still Loving Tate

I'm loving American Horror Story. And I'm loving the character of Tate. Last night's episode was a lot of fun and it seemed to cleverly provide us with some of the rules of this world. You have to die on the property to become a ghost. And ghosties cannot leave the property except on Halloween. Using my awesome powers of deduction, I'm pretty sold on the idea that Tate is a ghost. And look...he's sad about it!

Evan Peters as Tate Langdon on American Horror Story Evan Peters Tate Langdon American Horror Story Tate AHS Season 1 Tate American Horror Story
First, it seems he can only leave the house on Halloween. He scheduled both his date with Violet and his outside-the-house meeting with Dr. Harmon for the same day. Second, the Kurt Cobain 90s wardrobe continues (maybe he likes Violet because she dresses like Blossom?). And finally, the variety of coffee flavors offered in the outside world just plain confuses him. Plus, it really doesn't make sense that he's not. Explain to me a scenario where he's just a living guy...

The burned man, however, I'm still on the fence about. He must be real, right? He exists outside the house. Unless he's somehow tied to Ben instead of the home, only able to be seen by others on Halloween. But why would that be?

But back to Tate. He's a great spin on angst. Poor ghost boy, trapped in a house, looking for a girl who doesn't scare easily. He's lonely and whatever his true motives are, he's really worried about Ben ending their relationship. Is he worried about disappointing someone? Constance maybe? Or getting in trouble? We don't really know much about him yet but he cries and freaks out a lot, so  I'm content with my inferred surface angst story. I'm so intrigued by what his deal is. And I also wonder how much Evan Peters knows. I think a lot of my final verdict on American Horror Story will depend on how well they've interwoven and planted whatever the hell we're going to find out during the rest of the season.

Evan Peters as Tate Langdon on American Horror Story Evan Peters Tate Langdon American Horror Story Tate AHS Season 1 Tate American Horror Story
But for now, I have fun watching American Horror Story and when it's over, I'm sad I have to wait another week for more. That's a good sign. Apart from my Tate fascination, the rest of the characters have a lot going for them as well. Last night went a long way to create sympathy for Moira and Constance. They're really not letting Ben off the hook - he's still detestable and pathetically weepy. But guest star Zachary Quinto was great and wins the award for most frequent usage of the word twink in an episode of basic cable television. I can't wait to see how they wrap up this two part Halloween episode. Too bad I have to wait a whole week.

Evan Peters as Tate Langdon on American Horror Story Evan Peters Tate Langdon American Horror Story Tate AHS Season 1 Tate American Horror Story

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Sons of Anarchy: Theo Rossi Got Juiced


There be Sons of Anarchy spoilers here. Read at your own risk.

Sons of Anarchy is a show with very few smiles. It is a show populated by intimidating characters you'd cross the street to avoid in reality. Most of the show's best moments have been moments of violence. This season especially - the scenes that stick out are Otto shoving the screwdriver into the Russian dude's ear, Jax slamming the porn-stars face into her mirror, and Juice spraying Miles's brains all over the forest (and himself...)

And now, poor Juice. His character once smiled. His smile made me smile. He smiles no longer. 

I appreciated that Theo Rossi is still bad-ass, despite being occasionally happy. And Juice is written strong enough that his more positive personality isn't a weaknesses but a quality that endears the (younger female?) audience to him. 

This makes his situation all the more depressing. Juice got screwed, royally. Rock on one side, hard place on the other. I was completely convinced at the end of last week that we had seen the last of Juice. (I guess I was the only person who didn't hear the branch snap...) In fact, I had already written,
I hoped that some twist of fate would reveal to the club who Juice's father was and they'd be like The Sultan at the end of Aladdin when he decrees that their old rules are dumb and they should just choose to be a bit more progressive for the sake of a happy ending. Alas. The samcro guys are not The Sultan from Aladdin and Kurt Sutter sure as hell isn't Disney. A  happy ending was not forthcoming. Poor Juice. Poor poor Juice. 
Theo Rossi as Juice hugs Clay on Sons of Anarchy
Theo Rossi as Juice on Sons of Anarchy
Theo Rossi as Juice tries to kill hang himself on Sons of Anarchy
I was thrilled when last night's show began with the fateful snap of a branch. It was great! Maybe Kurt Sutter has more Disney magic in him than I thought! Maybe I shouldn't get my hopes up. I don't even know at this point. And that's part of what makes SoA great. I don't know what the resolution will be or where it will come from. I am hoping for some Juice/Chibs bromance. How cute is it that Chibs always calls him "Juicy Boy?" And there was such angst with Chibs finding him and stopping him and revealing his failed suicide attempt neck injury.

I'm very much looking forward to next week and the continuation of the Juice storyline. Jax who?

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Hip It Up

This isn't angsty at all. I just love Peter Krause and his getup made me laugh.





You're Welcome.





Nate Corddry: Puppy Dog Eyes

Harry's Law normally doesn't evoke within me any emotion other than amusement. Certainly, the tears are few and far between. But when you make poor Nate Corddry cry, even over plot points I couldn't care less about, you make me cry.

 "Maybe you most of all, Scarecrow." Awww...


The cry face of Nate Corddry is very James McAvoy-ian. Well done, sir. Well done.

Starter For Ten

Atonement

Rory O'Shea Was Here


Monday, October 24, 2011

The Vampire Diaries: The Way To A Vampire's Heart

What a scene. Amiright? 

Sexy picture of Ian Somerhalder Nina Dobrev Damon Salvatore Elena Gilbert hand heart how to stake a vampire Delena
Sexy picture of Ian Somerhalder Nina Dobrev Damon Salvatore Elena Gilbert hand heart how to stake a vampire Delena
Sexy picture of Ian Somerhalder Nina Dobrev Damon Salvatore Elena Gilbert hand heart how to stake a vampire Delena
Sexy picture of Ian Somerhalder Nina Dobrev Damon Salvatore Elena Gilbert hand heart how to stake a vampire Delena
Sexy picture of Ian Somerhalder Nina Dobrev Damon Salvatore Elena Gilbert hand heart how to stake a vampire Delena
Sexy picture of Ian Somerhalder Nina Dobrev Damon Salvatore Elena Gilbert hand heart how to stake a vampire Delena
Damon can give me instructions on how to stake a vampire anytime. Or, you know, on how to do my taxes. Just as long as he whispers them ever so softly into my ear. 

"You need a tax form 1090..." 

And then he should lick marshmellow goo off his finger. To really sell me on the whole needing a 1090 thing.

Sexy picture of Ian Somerhalder as Damon Salvatore licks marshmallow off his finger The Vampire Diaries Delena

The Secret Circle: I Put A Spell On You

As much as I think Secret Circle needs some fresh male blood, I'm not overly enthusiastic with the recent turn of events. Circle member Nick Armstrong bit the big one. By which I mean he was murdered by Brian Kinney. It's not that I cared so much about the character - they could kill 99% of their cast and I'd just shrug - but some poor bland blonde actor is out of a job only to be replaced by an equally bland blonde actor. Louis Hunter, I raise a glass to your impending unemployment.

It's not all bad news. This week, the circle said goodbye to Nick prompting the first, genuine moment I've felt in the show. The line was spoken by Diana. She said, "I don't understand. That's his whole life? That's all he gets?" It was a good line. It was the perfect sentiment; exactly what a teenager might think when someone their age dies tragically.

Along with prompting the utterance of a single good line, there is one other reason to approve of Nick's death. Despite the fact that Chris Zylka seemed to study acting at The CW School of One Expression, his character Jake Armstrong has won my love. Why, you might ask?

Chris Zylka on The Secret Circle Jake Armostrong Chris Zylka on The Secret Circle Jake Armostrong
Do I love him because he's super smoldery?

Chris Zylka on The Secret Circle Jake Armostrong Chris Zylka on The Secret Circle Jake Armostrong
Do I love him because his entire family is dead and he therefore must be tortured?

Chris Zylka on The Secret Circle Jake Armostrong Chris Zylka on The Secret Circle Jake Armostrong
Do I love him because he inspires other characters to say things like, "He was a troubled young man" and "He's hurt a lot of people" and "That guy didn't care about anyone but himself" and "He'll sleep with you then dump you and leave you in a million, twisted little pieces?"

Chris Zylka on The Secret Circle Jake Armostrong Chris Zylka on The Secret Circle Jake Armostrong
Nope. It's none of those things. I love him because he inspired jealousy within Adam, thus forcing Thomas Dekker to emote.

Thomas Dekker as Adam Conant on The Secret Circle Adam Conant The Secret Circle Thomas Dekker

Go Thomas Dekker! YOU are the angst candidate from Secret Circle. If only they'd give you...something. Other than the most boring girlfriend to ever walk the earth.

Secret Circle has the moving parts of a good show, but it's just not working for me. Cassie is a snooze and I don't even know the name of that other girl. Faye is cool but they're entering the land of one dimensions with her and they need to get out quick. And they're running incredibly thin on testosterone. Who do they think is watching this show?! I can tell them right now, it's not a bunch of teenage boys pining for Pheobe Tonkin.

Adam is where it's at. Kill everyone he loves! Make him an alcoholic! Give him a disfiguring, yet conveniently off to the side scar. And do it fast, SC. Whether you like it or not, you're competing with the Angst Behemoth that is Vampire Diaries. They've got SEVEN angst ridden males.

I'm hoping Jake Armstrong, in all his Taylor Laughter clenched-jaw glory, will at least shake things up. Go ahead. Give me your best smolder.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Angst Initiate: American Horror Story's Tate Langdon

Normal people scare him. Luckily, there seems to be zero normal in his life (or un-life?) Cryptic spoilers to follow. 

Evan Peters as Tate Langdon on American Horror Story Season One Evan Peters as Tate Langdon AHS
American Horror Story is a little more hard core than the usual angst fare. It's actually a little frightening and there is virtually no romance. Don't expect sparkly scenes of glittering dewdrops here. AHS is all about blood, sex, and obsession. And rubber. And monsters.

Evan Peters as Tate Langdon on American Horror Story Season One Evan Peters as Tate Langdon AHS
Evan Peters as Tate Langdon on American Horror Story Season One Evan Peters as Tate Langdon AHS
The character of Tate is a much scarier than your typical teenage bad-boy. We're talking fantasizes about shooting up a school, summons evil infant-mosnters, axes girls in the stomach scary. In terms of intriguing characters, he's actually number two on this show. But Jessica Lange just doesn't quite feel at home here at The Angst Report.

Evan Peters as Tate Langdon on American Horror Story Season One Evan Peters as Tate Langdon AHS
Evan Peters as Tate Langdon on American Horror Story Season One Evan Peters as Tate Langdon AHS
He also might be dead. My theory is he died in the 90s what with his Seattle grunge sweaters and desire to listen to Kurt Cobain on Violet's ipod which he refers to as "that thing."

Evan Peters as Tate Langdon on American Horror Story Season One Evan Peters as Tate Langdon AHS
Regardless - Evan Peters is great at the scared-of-rejection look and he wears shadows very well. They know what they're doing. Giving Violet instructions about suicide? Comparing self imposed scars? Yeah. They stamped ANGST on this boy's forehead in the pilot. Questionable appropriateness aside, I'm all about Tate and discovering his creep-tastic backstory.

Evan Peters as Tate Langdon on American Horror Story Season One Evan Peters as Tate Langdon AHS

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Once More, With Feeling

It's been over a year since I've posted here at Angst Report. But I'm still so damn in love with the idea of devoting a blog to angsty characters I'm trying again. So here we go. We can all thank the incredibly creepy character of Tate on American Horror Story for resurrecting The Angst Report. Get ready. I'm about to go all angsty on your ass!